Your Normal is Not Really Normal

I think I am going through pre-culture shock.

There is something rising up in me that is saying "your normal is not really the goal. I am setting before you a new goal." 

I hate admitting this but there is something deep inside of me that expects and craves the American version of "normal:"
the sweet pretty wedding with all the family and friends there celebrating (and gifting),
the husband who goes off to work five days a week,
weekends,
house full of kids with beds, toys, and cute clothes enough for all,
a place to craft and somewhere to buy supplies,
grocery stores down the street,
Super-Target,
a vehicle to take the family places,
the library,
instagram,
internet everywhere,
coffee every morning,
an oven to bake things in,
a couch in the living room,
carpet on the floor,
air-conditioning in the summer,
heat in the winter,
fall leaves,
spring flowers,
closest family and friends within 3000 miles.....
this might all be just a dream that I have to let go.

India is tugging at my heart. The Lord is calling my name.
It is impossible to say "no."

In September I am going to India. I will stay nine months (well that is the plan so far). This time I will not just be visiting: playing with the kids at Asha House, drinking tea with lepers, buying some pretty stuff, and leaving. This time I am going to have to set down some roots, continuing the journey of learning how to live in India.

There are many unknowns about what the next year holds for me. I know that I cannot approach them with fear but with faith, trusting that God really truly knows what I need better than I think I do, trusting that his way will lead to his glory and my good.

But this process is still a tearing. Tearing down the old "normal" replacing it with the Kingdom normal. Tearing down my expectations and replacing them with Kingdom expectations.

Oh but I am so selfish and full of pride. It is not easy. In fact it is really convenient to believe the lie that tells me that I will loose my true self in this process. But it is just a lie. The amazing truth is that I am finding my true self in giving myself over to The Lover of My Soul. The Author of Life, The Older (and so much wiser) Brother over All Creation.

I am going to India nothing can stop me. I am always going to say "yes!" to God no matter the cost, even if the cost is a little heartache.